Appreciated ✌
Independent: not relying on another or others for aid or support.
Since young, being the single child, I stayed at home at night alone. I don't seem to be afraid of the dark or being alone, though the thought of leaving me at home alone kinda scares my mum but well, when you've gotta feed the family, you don't really have a choice. So practically, independence first came about when I'm primary 2.
Having said that though, the very first time I really felt alone, independent was in Primary 6 where all my best friends were allocated to the same class and yet I am the only one left dangling in the next class. That would mean, recess time alone, or with people I didn't really like. I vividly remember there was this one time, one lesson that changed my entire perspective.
Classmate A writes on a note: "Heyyy later when we're going recess, don't call Amelia okay! I don't like her." afterwhich the paper was crushed and pass on to other classmates.
Classmates B passes on the note which eventually leaves the ball of paper below my desk. So out of curiosity I opened it up and saw the message. Well, being only 12 years old, I felt hurt. Definitely. All that could possibly go through my mind was "Did I do something wrongly?" and "Why do they dislike me?". But being the already stubborn girl I was, I looked at them when they realised that I saw the note too. I kept mum and requested to go to the toilet. It was there and then, I was in tears. Sobbing uncontrollably. The hurt has been done. Despite that feeling, I made sure I was done crying and I went back to class absolutely normal. But ever since then, I refused to speak to that clique of 7 comprising of both girls and boys. They were out of my league eversince. Even till I entered Secondary school, I made sure that I chose something further, different and AWAY from them. Since they didn't like my presence in the first place, I don't see any reason I should speak to them anyway. Though one eventually came and told me that it was supposed to be a joke and they seriously did not feel that way about me, I took none of it. If it was a joke, it was way more than I could take. Ever since then, I learned independence the hard way. Being a single child, I had no siblings to confide in. Daddy and mummy was way too busy to be bothered by this, and I have no intentions of letting them know about this as well. It was a well-kept secret till now.
Nonetheless, I need to thank them. Because of what they did, I learned to be strong. I learned to be independent and not relying on others. So what if I am alone. I can do things the way I wanted to without having to accomodate to others and not considering what I actually wanted (that was me in the past). I became braver and it's all thanks to this particular lesson. Sometimes learning things the hard way is more effective than anything else. And I never regret having to go through this cause it's a situation definitely out of my control. Just like now, my decision to leave the company, despite all my loving colleagues, is a standalone decision. Except that this time round, it's not because of the people, it is because of the job, something that I couldn't change so long as I am here. I like to control my own fate and that's me. I feel appreciated even though my own direct superior does not think highly of me, other managers or directors do. They made me feel appreciated and I really wanted to show my appreciation to all of them as well.
And yes, I believe in you. :)
Labels: Strong
| 
Appreciated ✌
Independent: not relying on another or others for aid or support.
Since young, being the single child, I stayed at home at night alone. I don't seem to be afraid of the dark or being alone, though the thought of leaving me at home alone kinda scares my mum but well, when you've gotta feed the family, you don't really have a choice. So practically, independence first came about when I'm primary 2.
Having said that though, the very first time I really felt alone, independent was in Primary 6 where all my best friends were allocated to the same class and yet I am the only one left dangling in the next class. That would mean, recess time alone, or with people I didn't really like. I vividly remember there was this one time, one lesson that changed my entire perspective.
Classmate A writes on a note: "Heyyy later when we're going recess, don't call Amelia okay! I don't like her." afterwhich the paper was crushed and pass on to other classmates.
Classmates B passes on the note which eventually leaves the ball of paper below my desk. So out of curiosity I opened it up and saw the message. Well, being only 12 years old, I felt hurt. Definitely. All that could possibly go through my mind was "Did I do something wrongly?" and "Why do they dislike me?". But being the already stubborn girl I was, I looked at them when they realised that I saw the note too. I kept mum and requested to go to the toilet. It was there and then, I was in tears. Sobbing uncontrollably. The hurt has been done. Despite that feeling, I made sure I was done crying and I went back to class absolutely normal. But ever since then, I refused to speak to that clique of 7 comprising of both girls and boys. They were out of my league eversince. Even till I entered Secondary school, I made sure that I chose something further, different and AWAY from them. Since they didn't like my presence in the first place, I don't see any reason I should speak to them anyway. Though one eventually came and told me that it was supposed to be a joke and they seriously did not feel that way about me, I took none of it. If it was a joke, it was way more than I could take. Ever since then, I learned independence the hard way. Being a single child, I had no siblings to confide in. Daddy and mummy was way too busy to be bothered by this, and I have no intentions of letting them know about this as well. It was a well-kept secret till now.
Nonetheless, I need to thank them. Because of what they did, I learned to be strong. I learned to be independent and not relying on others. So what if I am alone. I can do things the way I wanted to without having to accomodate to others and not considering what I actually wanted (that was me in the past). I became braver and it's all thanks to this particular lesson. Sometimes learning things the hard way is more effective than anything else. And I never regret having to go through this cause it's a situation definitely out of my control. Just like now, my decision to leave the company, despite all my loving colleagues, is a standalone decision. Except that this time round, it's not because of the people, it is because of the job, something that I couldn't change so long as I am here. I like to control my own fate and that's me. I feel appreciated even though my own direct superior does not think highly of me, other managers or directors do. They made me feel appreciated and I really wanted to show my appreciation to all of them as well.
And yes, I believe in you. :)
Labels: Strong
|
